MN State Fair

The giant turkey leg is the perfect analogy for my annual State Fair experience. I always buy a turkey leg because I think I'm going to love it, and that first bite is so delicious. But after three or four bites, I realize it's just a giant, fatty piece of gristle. I've got crap on my face, grease running down my arm, and the realization that I still have to walk around with a giant wad of meat on a bone that would embarrass Fred Flintstone. Basically, what I'm saying is that the State Fair kind of sucks.

Of course, nobody is going to agree with me, because for whatever reason the two weeks or so during the fair are sacred. Maybe it's because I'm not from MN and thus wasn't born into the tradition that I'm able to look into it with an objective eye as the overblow, overrated flea market that it is. But, then again, maybe not. After all, when I was a kid we New Englanders had something called "The Big E" that was basically just the MN State Fair but for all of New England, and I remember growing tired of it as soon as I was able to walk. But take my opinion with a grain of salt because I've never liked rides, I've never liked crowds, and I hate being overcharged for mediocre food.

But if you love rides, crowds, and paying way too much for mediocre food, the State Fair must be a god send. To be sure, some of the food is good. I love funnel cake and the stuff at the fair is always delicious. But other than that... meh. People rave about the food and talk about how much they eat, but I don't get it. This year, I didn't get the turkey leg because, while waiting in line, I realize it was $7.50 (!!) I could spend on something I might actually enjoy. So I actually ended up spending 50 cents more than that on a buffalo steak kabob that, while good, was still nowhere near as moist or flavorful as something I could cook at home. And then there are things like Sweet Martha's cookies that are very good, but still not as good as the cookies my girlfriend makes. And if she's not around, I could go across the street to Common Roots or down the block to Bob's Java Hut and get cookies the other 50 weeks out of the year that put Sweet Martha's to shame. Granted, I won't get a bucket of cookies, but I also won't have to pay 15 bucks either.

And while I hate to harp on the money, it never ceases to amaze me how overpriced everything is. Six dollars for a cup of Premium? A six pack at a liquor store costs about five dollars. Seven fifty for a turkey leg? Four bucks for a corn dog? And add on to all of that the exorbitant cost to get in, which is insulting because you're basically paying admission for the opportunity to pay more money.

But, at the end of the day, it is a fun way to spend an afternoon, but only if you're with cool people with good attitudes. But, then again, cool people with good attitudes are fun to spend time with anywhere.

Still... I kind of regret not getting that turkey leg. So what does that say about me?

Il Gatto

This is not a review.

I didn't eat at Il Gatto because I couldn't find a table. This is going to be a review of my first impressions of the impressive looking establishment that replaced Figlio, one of my favorite places for Happy Hour in Uptown.

Figlio was great because their drink specials and discounted appetizers were cheap and fantastic. Their bar was big and roomy, with lots of tables to accommodate big parties and little nooks and crannies for couples who wanted something a little more intimate.

Il Gatto was the same drink and appetizer specials, but the bar is an entirely different story. Now it's simply one narrow, awkwardly crowded corridor with the bar on the right side and a line of far too few tables on the left. It can hold maybe a fifth of the amount of people that Figlio's bar could, and since it is now removed from any windows, it feels that much more claustrophobic and uncomfortable.

As I said, I couldn't find a table, but even more than that, lacking a table left me no choice but to leave. There is simply nowhere to stand. I can't imagine anybody would want to come here with more than, say, one other person. It's terrible. It's ridiculous. It's even a little heartbreaking. Maybe I'll try it again just so I can see if the food and drinks are good, but if my next visit goes like my one last night, I'll just end up at the Independent again.

Common Roots Cafe

This is a first in Minneapolistic's (admittedly short) history: I'm actually writing a restaurant review while sitting in that restaurant. Now, I'm not reviewing Common Roots while at Common Roots because I had such an amazing first impression that I had to whip out my laptop and write about it. I'm writing about Common Roots because, to be honest, I'm always at Common Roots, and I've written many reviews during their exceptional happy hour. Long story short, I'm a Common Roots fan. Though it wasn't always that way.

CR is located on the corner of 26th and Lyndale, in a rather nondescript, almost boring looking brick building that used to house the mediocre restaurant Soba Cafe. I was neither sad nor surprised when Soba closed its doors, because the few times I went there I was incredibly underwhelmed, though I wasn't any more enthusiastic about CR when it opened up as its replacement. They had definitely cleaned up the building and thrown in a few more windows to brighten it up, but the location was still a little too sterile. And the food just didn't interest me. In fact, I only continued to go there because it is quite literally right across the street from my girlfriend's apartment.

When it first opened, you wouldn't be too far off to describe it as Spyhouse with more food. I don't mean that it looked like Spyhouse or event that it offered similar fair, but that Spyhouse exemplifies for me the typical so-trendy-it-hurts Uptown coffee shop. Luckily, evolved past that and actually began to understand that a truely trendy restaurant isn't one that offers organic food served by root people, but one that serves truly fantastic food served by a competent, friendly staff.

Somewhere over the two or so years since they opened their doors, CR just... clicked. They at first prided themselves on having fresh, organic food supplied exclusively from local farms, which is fantastic and noble, but is hardly enough in and of itself. At first, the flavor of the food simply wasn't up to the standard set by their ethics, but I'm happy to say that things have changed and CR can now be confident that their food is every bit as flavorful as it is... ethical, whatever that means.

I suppose I should digress here for a minute and admit that I don't care about supporting local businesses, have no idea what "sustainable" means in regards to farming, and have never been able to tell the difference between organic and nonorganic food, other than that organic is way more expensive so I don't buy it. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to support a local business that deserves it, but I'm not going to do so out of any kind of ethical reasons. I'd love to buy all of my DVDs at Cheapo, but since they charge about twice what Target does, the evil corporation is going to get my money, and I don't feel guilty about that. If that is your thing, Common Roots is the place for you. But if that isn't your thing, Common Roots is still the place for you because their food is so damn good.

Is their burger one of the best I've ever had (no exaggeration) because the cow was grass fed and organically raised, or just because their chef knows how to cook a great burger? I'm sure it was a little of both, but let's not count out the second explanation out of hand. The food at CR is just exquisitely prepared, and their monthly-rotating recipes are all unique and exciting and delicious. But even though the menu regularly changes, they were smart enough to keep the burger as a permanent staple. Though, if I have any complaint about the menu at all, it's that when something really strikes your fancy (and almost everything does), it's really sad when it disappears from the menu at the end of the month.

And best of all is the happy hour, which doesn't just offer Surly taps (and a few other select beers) for $3 and house wines for $4, but all of the appetizers are just $5. And, to be honest, the appetizers are often far more exciting and fulfilling than some of the entrees. The entrees are all great, but are often just variations on similar themes (they'll have pasta, some kind of salad, a fish, etc), but the appetizers are often wholly unique and innovative. But even when they just do something as simple as pizza, they give it their own spin and deliver pizza that is as good as any you've ever had.

Oh, and their freshly made desserts are amazing.

The service at CR is another thing that slowly evolved along with the flavor of the food. Maybe it's because I spent so long as an Assistant Manager at Starbucks, but friendly ("legendary") service is important to me. Something as simple as an "I'll be right with you" -- or even a smile! -- can go a long way toward making a customer feel welcome. Say what you want about the difference between local coffee shops and corporately owned ones, if I want enthusiastic, friendly service I'll go to Starbucks. If I want to talk to a brick wall that only shows emotion when they are actively being rude to be, I'll go to Spyhouse. I don't want to say that the service at CR was rude, but that it was decidedly indifferent. As the restaurant found its niche, they dropped some duds from the staff and brought in a bunch of people who are really quite charming and able at customer service. I still sometimes feel as though I have to initiate conversations with them -- and after a good year of coming here at least once a week, I'm only just being recognized as any kind of a "regular" -- that's still probably my Starbucks training creeping in. They are quite nice and good at their jobs.

And they are all cute as a button too -- male and female -- if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not saying you should go there because the girls are pretty or because at least one of the guys looks like the actor Carey Elwes, but it's certainly better than going to a place where everybody is ugly.

Do I have any complaints abour CR? Well, yeah, a couple. To begin with, the $3 taps you get during happy hour are actually $3.30. I'm not sure if they have tax on beer because it's technically a coffee shop/restaurant and not a bar, but it's a little disappointing. It's not a deal-breaker by any means (since I literally come here an average of three or four times a week), but I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't mention it. If you actually want a $3 beer that is $3, you'll have to go to Figlio or The Independent. If they really want to compete with other (technically cheaper) Happy Hours in Uptown, they should think about factoring the tax into the overall price. They also might want to extend their happy hour to 7pm instead of 6pm to compete with the Bulldog's, which is right across the street. I much prefer Common Roots, but if I want a beer and it's 6:01 at night, I admit that I go across the street.

Also, the service can be a little wacky at times. Again, this might be because of my Starbucks training, but I think they need better deployment at the register and bar. Occasionally the employees seem lost, not because they are rude or indifferent to the customers, but because they maybe don't know exactly where they should be or what they should be doing at any given time. You'll often be rung up by a person who will then slide to the espresso bar (for example) to make your drink, while the person who just made a drink will wonder around before going over to the register to ring up the next person in line. Often, there will even only be one person doing everything even as the line forms, while a few other people will be stocking or wiping down tables. An obvious way to fix this would be to deploy people to set positions. That is to say, one person should stay on register while another person is assigned to just making drinks. Not only would this speed up service, but I imagine it would minimize cash-handling mistakes because only one person would be assigned to use the register at any given period of time during the shift.

And, again, this is my Starbucks training talking, which is a corporation that, frankly, has customer service and employee deployment down to a science. For me to expect that every other coffee shop in America should master that same science is silly. But still, their system of service could be a little more refined, if not the actual service itself, which is -- as I said -- likable and warm and charming. There are certainly employees here that I like more than others, but none that I dread having serve me should I see them behind the counter when I come in.

The decor that once seemed sterile has also evolved into something that seems more spartan and clean. The patio is one of the best in uptown, since it's on the side of the building and not right on the street, though you do have a good view of Lyndale for people watching (and dog watching, since the patio overlooks the animal hospital, where a pair of dogs often wander out onto the balcony). The restaurant is large and has amble seating, though I think of the back section as the ghetto because it's somewhat dark and dank. Well, I suppose it's not really fair to call it dark and dank, but it's certainly darker and less comfortable than the section of tables near be wall of windows that lines the front of the building. If I can't find a table at the front, I'll sit on the patio. If I can't sit on the patio, I sulk in the back.

Long story short (too late for that), Common Roots is an exceptional restaurant, coffee shop, and purveyor of fine alcoholic beverages. Come here almost any day of the week for a great local brew, an amazing burger, a delicious cookie, or just to say hello to me. I'm the guy in the corner writing a restaurant review or reading a comic book.

5 out of 5

Lyndale Tap House

The signature item at The Lyndale Tap House is their Pit Beef, which the menu describes as a "Baltimore tradition." Now, I went to college in Baltimore, lived there for about five years, and I've never heard of Pit Beef. I used to eat crabcakes by the ton, and I've cut my fingers more times than I can even remember tearing into some steamed crabs -- all while listening to the music of David Byrne, watching the movies of Barry Levinson and John Waters, and tuning in to every episode of Homicide -- but pit beef? News to me.

Which pisses me off because if the pit beef at Lyndale Tap is even half as "traditional" as they claim, I spent those fives years in Baltimore missing out like a sucker. I can't speak for what you'd find in the city of Baltimore, but the pit beef at Lyndale Tape in Uptown Minneapolis Minnesota is off the hook!

The Lyndale Tape House is located in the building that used to be J.P.'s Bistro, a restaurant that everybody claims was amazing, but I never got around to trying. Why would I go to a place that's right across the street from The Herkimer? I almost never even tried this place, because everytime I'd try, I'd just end up across the street. It actually took me a while to even realize it was a restaurant, because the upstairs houses some chiropractor that has a much bigger sign than this restaurant. They really need to get a bigger sign out from that makes it obvious it's a restaurant. But the sign on the side of the building says "Pit Beef" in big, neon letters, which is what convinced me to finally give it a try. I love beef, cooked in a pit or otherwise.

And, as I said above, the pit beef is awesome. It's... beef... that's cooked in a pit... I guess. It's kind of similar to brisket, though not quite as sweet or as tender, with a really powerful, smokey flavor. The Pit Beef sandwich I got was just the regular, which comes smothered with horseradish sauce and onions. I ordered it rare, which my girlfriend thought was gross and wouldn't eat it, but I thought it was perfect. The fries that accompanied the sandwich were fresh, hand-cut, and fantastic. Already on the table was a house-made hot sauce and malt vinnegar, both of which should already be on every table in the entire world -- even coffee tables.

I'm sure the other food is good too, but I wouldn't know since every time I've gone I've gotten the pit beef, and so has everybody else I'm with. It could be the only thing on the menu and I'd still give the place a rave review.

And since the name is Lyndale Tap House, they'd better have a pretty good selection of taps in the house. I'm happy to say they do, even though I've read many vexing reviews of the place that argue to the contrary. Looking over their menu, I count about 17 beers on tap, which is an especially impressive number considering how they are all very good selections. Also, all of their taps are half price during happy hour. How anybody could complain about a beer selection that offers Rocky's Revenge for three bucks or so is beyond me.

Also, I've always had the same waitress who is very charming and looks just like a young Marisa Tomei. I'm not saying that anybody should go to a restaurant just because one of the waitresses looks like Marisa Tomei, but I am saying that more restaurants should hire waitresses who look like Marisa Tomei. It just seems to make the food taste better.

The highest compliment I can pay Lyndale Tap House is that, even though it's directly across the street from my favorite restaurant, I have still managed to go there on more than one occasion. In fact, I even once meant to go to Herkimer, but actually ended up going to Lyndale Tap. What can I say? It brings me back to my days in Baltimore.

In Memoriam: Blackbird Cafe

Blackbird Cafe, along with Patina, Heidi's and Shoppe Local were destroyed today in a fire. Read more about it here.

I actually work just a few blocks away from this location, and watched as firetruck after firetruck sped down the street. After I went out to investigate, I saw huge smoke clouds billowing in the distance. News helicopters flew overheard for most of the late afternoon. So far it sounds like there were no casualties or major injuries, but the loss of the local businesses is devastating. I hope everyone has insurance and comes back strong, especially Blackbird, which, as I mentioned in my review, is one of the best restaurants in the Twin Cities.